History 101 By Shaykh Zaid Shakir --------------------------------------------------------

In fourteen hundred and ninety-two,
Columbus sailed the ocean blue...

an event that happened a bit too soon,
'cause in sixty-nine they were on the moon.

A happening not without precedent,
the same place Galileo's telescope went.

Which isn't to say we've become farsighted in our views.
Proof of which is the daily news.

From Hiroshima and Nagasaki,
to imported Nissans and Kawasakis.

The songs the British rockers sing
bring back images of Cromwell fighting the king.

To think that neutron bombs held detente's faint hope,
In the hands of an army strung out on dope.

The poet said vanity, vanity, all is vanity,
let's take a closer look at this insanity.

Watch the TV, play the tape,
the latest chapter in the great escape.

Look at Spock out trekking stars,
Forget the Earth and her petty wars.

A country of R2s, D2s, a world of Darth Vaders,
The Senate makes less money than the Oakland Raiders.

The Renaissance sparked dreams of new worlds coming into view,
dreams turned into the realities of Madison Ave.

Ad campaigns sold peanut butter to Peter Pan,
and lifeboats to the Tidy Bowl man.
They even sold Kojak some afro sheen,
And turtle wax to Mr. Clean.

Gil told us they sold tuna to the Chicken of the Sea,
So what do you think they're selling you and me?

When Nitetol becomes a permanent state,
apathy and ignorance begins to escalate.

We sit back and watch the dollar's value deflate,
But how long will our enemies sit and wait.

Call him up, walk into his office... On the wall sits the head of a moose,
and he sits behind his desk reading Dr. Suess.

This might be a character on your local TV,
And it might be the character pulling the strings controlling you and me.

People going to college to expand their minds,
Can't relate to dropouts in the unemployment lines.

Cornflakes are becoming extinct due to gasohol.
The UN is becoming a free-for-all.

Santa Clause fired the Easter Bunny.
Approach youre wife,
she'll ask for money.

Lenin did what Marx couldn't,
Hitler said what Haider shouldn't.

Muslims are on the endangered species list.
Plastic American culture no one can resist.

The holocaust memorial opens to cries of "never again"
While Bosnia is being ethnically-cleansed.

On and on this story goes,
so now I'll bring it to a close.

Were you to ask, I'll say, "It's been quite fun!"
Playing ball with history
one-on-one.

For comments or suggestions contact muslims@eden.rutgers.edu