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Profundity

Different Drums

The Meat Eaters' Club

 

 

"It would be good if it didn't suck."


"I'm afraid of white sharks."
"If we weren't born in different years, we might be in the same grade."
"If we were born in different years, we might not know each other."
"The world is a much nicer place upside-down."
"What's a little bisexuality between friends?"
"I wonder if people in Australia are really happy."
"They could feed starving nations on Ramen."
"You can't fall off the floor."
"Scantily-clad women, loud, thumping music, and cheap beer--what else do you need?"
"You did what to who for how many cookies?"
"I love people named Thaddius."
"I'm getting senile right now-I'm really hungry."
"If I wanted it to suck, I'd've played it myself."
"Why don't we go to K-Mart?"
"...that's like becoming a great citizen to become a criminal."
"It's OK-I'll just roll over and pretend I have mail."
"We need better dump truck drivers."
"He's still doing his typical male-gropey-thingy."
"White is the Anti-Bob."
"How do you lose a histogram?"
"They said that drinks are on your honor which, I assume, means free."
"Then you'd be screwed-a-roni."
"If I were a mute you wouldn't love me as much."
"I'd be nice to live in San Francisco, except I might die."
"I hate being right; it goes against all my principles."
"The gravy fries are pretty good, except when they don't have any gravy."
"I'm not on your page yet, am I? Oh, good."
"I am only as far as I've gotten."
"I pray for beautiful women every night, then I speak ebonics!!"
"I can't animate a snatch in a day."
"I used to think I liked to cook. Now I realize that I just didn't want to eat crackers."
"There is a slug in me. Yeah God!"
"I think it's the job of the juniors and seniors to take advantage of the young, defenseless freshman."
Later he 'corrected' himself: "No! Not take advantage of, more like enlighten."
"Maybe you're only attracted to guys with migraines."
"Yeah, you do smile a lot to be a demon."
"I do my best work when I am unconscious."
"[Owning] A house in NB [New Brunswick] is like a license to print money."
"I need to get up there more times than Corey. Grrr."
"I am really good at looking desperate!"
"He poofed his parfait on me!"
"When one is $1400 in debt, one does not buy $30 glowing palm tree lights."
"It's the same as other languages but the words are different."
"He doesn't even have any [porn magazines] that have, you know," *shoves fist in the air* "impalement!"
"It is testicles in your face."
"The web is sneezing at me."
    -me (In regards to a banner ad for nasal spray that featured a sneezing rhinoceros)

me:   "Do you ever worry about [the fact that you are obsessed with pictures of a particular random baby]?"
Winnie:   "Yeah, definitely."


"I really need to clean my life."
    -Gabe

me: "He gives me warm fuzzies."
Corey: "I usually get mine out of the dryer, but that's probably because the lint filter is broken."


"Yeah, but maybe 'head' means 'porcupine sandwich' in geese-speak."
    -me

"If it were an albino with black teeth it would be the same thing but in reverse."
    -me (within five minutes of the one above, help me)

"I almost got my eyeball to land on my shelf. That's so cool!"
    -Jonathan Tischio

"If I were on the ship Stacey right now, I'd be seasick."
    -Corey Revilla

"I'm sorry, I just had this urge to dust your breast."
    -Corey Revilla

"Five dollars? You can pay for an entire Vietnamese sweatshop for a week on five dollars."
    -Josh Boyle

"He did that to me when he was Jesus."
    -Leeann Walker

"You do have an exciting basement."
    -Chuck Shupe

"She passed herself around like a blunt."
    -Kareen Whose-last-name-I-don't-know

"Really, E [Ecstasy] was just a planner for me."
    -Kareem Whose-last-name-I-don't-know

"But I want to erase in color!"
    -Leeann Walker

"Frustration is more frustrating when you're failing alone."
    -me

"I had a key-pressing orgasm."
    -Bob Cunius